A new page will be turned at 12 tonight, or should I say a new volume of our life.A few pages were written, rest were crumbled and thrown into the bin, those that were written taught us a lot, but those that had to be crumbled were far better teachers, they taught us to accept defeat , to realise that our goal lies a bit far off but it isn't impossible to reach it. There were times when success was near , we leaped but fell . Now we can see it hopping across to the other side , passing through the door of 2009, we are yet to catch hold of it . So lets gear up to confront a brand new challenge in the brand new year the awaits at our doorstep.
"Theres nothing new in the new year , something new is yet to be created,a new dream, a new road , a new strength and a new self that has forgotten to look back"

The regular visitor

As I stepped outside in the early winter morning, I saw someone standing,right at the door , its been years now since hes been a regular visitor, every winter with the same smile and the same attitude of reducing visibility, acting as a speed reducer he followed me untill I reached my office, see you could'nt irritate me much I said, and with the familiar smile I left him at the doorstep, with a promise of an early morning visit.....like it has been till date.
Yes, Mr. Fog has been a part of our lives, reminding us again and again that winter is here.Well we know that don't we?But theres something about the fog that brings a stream of emotions , all lined up and appearing one by one , objects appear one after another as we get closer to them..its as if the fog has innumerable things hidden in its folds , and we play hide and seek making our way through the fog.
Our goals, our aims , our desires are all placed right in front of us , its our determination to cut through the fog of life , that makes us achieve them. When our steps lack the kind of determination we need to make our way through, we get lost in the mist and remain clogged up for the rest of our lives.
Its important to cut through the fog of darkness and to be able to encounter the light of knowledge .... knowledge that nothing is unattainable, its our trust, hope and determination that gets us going.

A slice of history

There is a slice of history in every page that you turn, in every day that you live and yes especially in the place where you reside . Jamia has a history smeared on every part of it, which gets revealed when someone who has seen it taking birth narrates the lost memoirs of a place which has a special part in history.The unique history retold by a living history, my grand father, Mr. Abdul Sattar, a unique personality , though he never managed to write a lot about his experiences, the bits and pieces narrated to me , give me an interesting picture of the past of Jamia. Mujeeb Sahab(Prof.Mujeeb), Zakir Sahab(Dr. Zakir Hussain) were among his teachers, the people who he says have taught him a lot in life..to be a human being first and anything else later. Jamia started from a small school in carol bagh to what it is today in Okhla , Jamia Millia Islamia, a distinct university. Though I've never been a student of Jamia, still theres something about it that gives me a sense of belonging, maybe because I have grown playing in its corridors .As nana narrates his stories the pictures just keep appearing like a moving reel in my mind. The area that comprises of the popular Mass Communication of Delhi used to be the fields where farming took place , it belonged to nana, he still gets lost in the memories of the days when he used to sit on his comfortable charpoi , looking over the fields and yes taking part in the work aswell . Jamia was a different place at that time , surrounded with fields and fruit yards, a small community comprising of a few families , but very close knit area.With utmost pride he still remembers the plays that he used to write sitting on a bunch of hay, with a small transistor playing in the background, I really enjoyed listening to the fact that cows and buffaloes were tied on the stage to give it a real feel. His plays were an intant hit!
The talimi taraqqui dept has a special part in my grandpas memories, it was a department for Adult Education. Jamia at that time had an educational system which is being adopted in private schools today, a far developed educational system ,much ahead of its time..hats off to the excellent faculty that it had..Theres so much that I want to write about it and I wish to unfold the lost history of Jamia through the memories of my grandfather....hope I am able to put it together someday. Theres a lot that needs to be explored.
"Words become history when written down on paper,
and memories become a legecy when they seep down through ancestors ".

Today wrapped up in the winter chill and snugged in the warmth of my shawl, my memories took me to the by gone days , the days when I first stepped into "Junior and Tiny Tots", which was then a whole new experience of my life . Not too big , not too small, just a compact world for a toddler who had just taken a step forward in life ...days passed and slowly it became a precious part of my life ..my school..my world. 25 th of Dec, I can swear on it that Christmas can never be celebrated with such fervour as it was at Tiny Tots.All of us used to line up classwise near the gate in long rows , doing what? well waiting for Santa to appear in his open geep , making his way through the gate and right through our hearts . He was the real Santa as we used to call him, big, fat, chubby, dressed in his famous red , with loads of gifts loaded in his geep.The geep was driven by someone else..may be santa's assistant, and he used to stand at the back waving at us and throwing all kinds of goodies at us .His geep was full of balloons of all sizes , big, small and some as huge as our dreams . With wide open eyes we used to gaze at Santa and greet him, our dearest Sanat Claus:) As soon as the geep entered the whole school used to sing jingle bells and many other christmas songs that aunty Eclairs has taught us , she was our singing teacher, as sweet as her name suggests. This was not it, after singing and dancing with Santa , we used to get loads of sweets and it was a free day for all of us ..no padai at all..what fun! My school has given me warm memories which will reside within me forever. I still remember the song.."Sharing, if we all keep sharing..sharing all the things we have .Oh what joy, peace and contentment, if we would be sharing all we have, there'll be so many hearts contented , there'll be so many less in pain, so many would be less affected , what joy and love would ring....so lets keep sharing......."So lets share love and happiness and make each day a happy day for everyone around.Merry Christmas!!!:)

Danger is a good teacher??!!!??""

Danger is a good teacher, it surely is , it teaches us the surival tactics that we never thought would come to our mind .What do we do when we get to know that someone who is dear to us is caught in the cluches of danger, we dont think ...we just act.This is what life wants from us ...do the things that you think are right without thinking about them twice, coz if you just think you wont be able to act , this very decision will become the deciding factor of the rest of your life ..the fact that you'd just follow the herd or be someone you always wanted to be ....the true you.May be words are not enough but actions work wonders.It dosen't have to be something that hurts someone , but something that would do you a lot of good, but not at someone elses cost!!!!When in doubt think about the danger of living a life that you never wanted..............and the sense of danger would tell you what you really want.When you're not happy with life you tend to spread unhappiness..others don't deserve to be unhappy at your cost ...so there lies a danger of making others unhappy by not being your true self and wearing a make believe mask all the time.
Danger indeed, is a good teacher..isn't it?

mirror image

life is full of change, every day you find a different you looking into the mirror, gazing at yourself with a confused yet familiar look..is that me ?or isn't it? its like a picture which tells different stories at different points of time in our lives, for instance say there is a picture of a forest with wild flowers , a stream running by and a narrow mud lane , when you are sad the picture makes you feel as if the world is a lonely place full of turmoil, lonely where we have been left to sought out the conflict within ourselves but when we are at peace with ourselves , the picture makes us feel in confirmity with nature , life seems full of tranquility and the lonely road in the picture seems as if it is showing us the way towards our true destination .
There are some pictures that give us the same feeling in whatever mood we might be , a feeling of calm , a feeling of care , of warmth that is hidden within. We should try to be like this picture , in confirmity with ourselves all the time, however hard the situations might be, one should never be bogged down by their weight.Life is the second name from struggle , a struggle where you have to dive into the deep sea to get the pearls.

The first day of the rest of my life

Yeasterday I went to someones place, a person who has been a significant part of the old memories that I cherish till date. I used to go to her place with my grandmother, in a rickety rikshaw with the rickshaw puller who used to pull his rikshaw in such a way that both of us felt as if we are on a roller coaster ride, with nani shouting at him, but in vain, coz he was busy enjoying his adventure through then not so crowded roads of our neighbourhood. It would be a difficult task to sit next to nani and listen to all the conversations that went between her friend and her(btw with most of the talking done by her friend), it was like a tennis match being played with the ball going right over my head ....did not understand a word of what they talked about. But yesterday it was altogether a very different experience, the same old road but with an air that was new to me , maybe the memories are intact in my minds eye, I want them to be there coz theres no other treasure like the priceless, soulful memories.
As I entered her house my eyes fell on a small rectangular showpiece with a quote written on it , placed inside the familiar almirah that had been touched up with the colours of the new world. It said , "today is the first day of the rest of your life", the quote felt like an advise from a person who I thought had left me long ago...my nani. It was as if she was telling me that there is the best to look forward to , never give up , keep going on.
Sometimes when we reach a point in our lives where we are confused as to what is in store for us , an invisible strength gives us the power to move on and guides us through the untrodden path of life.
This is what love is all about , in whatever form it might be it provides the strength to embrace life with open arms....for me love just happened to pour out through an old show piece , leaving a smile on my face to last me a life time .

word struggle

So many words, a huge stream of thoughts, but so little to be expressed, it seems that sometimes words just get clogged in our mind unable to come out .Stuck and struggling to push their way through, dying to get poured over the sheets of expression. Words are too big to be expressed and too intense to be hidden within.

Life is a beautiful mystery; it has so many questions stored within it. Some get revealed in the course of our life but some remain undiscovered forever. Life is about discovering such hidden treasures which it keeps in store for us from the very day that we are born. That is why life is a treasure hunt and the reason why we get bored of it is because we never generate that quest within us ……….the quest to discover what life is all about. Its like a clear day which does get engulfed by the black claws of the night, but reveals a new avatar each morning …..A fighter in the true sense of the word.

I can hear her cry,
sitting alone in a dilapidated state she cries her heart out,
bleeding bitterly , and torn into pieces ,she sheds her blood oft and on .

Being healed and again being torn apart is how her life has been,
She cries at the sight of her children being slayed , as cruelly as could be .

The ones who were the brave hearts, fought for her, but yet it was in vain,
the cruel claws of death had barged in and had easily made its way.

Sweeping cruelly the lives of those, whom they never knew ,
She bled she cried she called for help…but nothing seemed subdued.

And there I stood as a witness,watching her through a lifeless box,
There she was, awake and yet so numb,crying for help and nothing could be done.

Whatever could be saved from her shattered pieces was saved and left to thank destiny.
A smile on their face, a void in their heart, a memory which had left a black mark.

Enough she cried, enough I say, there’s nothing more that I can take,
ruined enough through the sands of time, its time be awake.

I am a mother to all of you, its your duty to guard me against such wrath ,
No longer will I be a slave to such cruelty,its time to unite as a big force,
a spirit which can never be broken apart.

Stand up dear Indians,
it’s a call from your motherland,its time to be at her guard,
its time for a revolution ,
a time for change ,
A time to build a peaceful abode.

Who is it going to help in the end???????

What happened in Mumbai is a shame ….shame on the so called protectors of our country , who claim to do great things and then forget about them as soon as the elections are over, Its just pure dirty politics . A terrorist has no name and no religion….he is just a menace , out to fulfill his/her own selfish needs for which he can destroy whoever comes in his way, be it an innocent child or an old man, for him its just a matter of fulfilling his own desires.
When people are out there to destroy each other for any convenient reason they might have ….the only question that comes to my mind is, who is it going to help in the end? They might take the name of a religion but we all know that no religion in this world preaches insanity towards humanity …… a convenient reason is all that it is….by the end of it, its just some crappy political reason that is being taken care of, leaving common people who have been leading a simple peaceful life with a feeling of alienation. No religion asks its followers to shed blood in its name and that too of innocent people who have never even thought of harming anyone, who had been leading a peaceful life…..and one fine day die a useless death at the hands of those they don’t even know.
Why does it always happen before the elections, is it some kind of a cheap strategy that is being played at the cost of innocent people?No we are not numb we simply can’t go numb with the pain that is being forced on us. There has to be a way out, there is indeed a solution……..The solution lies in us….We the people of India, who have to join hands and fight against such injustice. We have to stand united forever and especially in the times of such crisis, to bring about the change which is much needed today. No one, no one at all can take liberties with us or can have the audacity to walk in and harm us or our loved ones.
We have to save our country from such selfish people be it the terrorists or wily politicians who surface at the time of elections and think we are fools who would believe in whatever they say. We can’t let them have their way, not on our land….the place we revere and have witnessed so many brave hearts sacrificing their lives in order to protect it from any evil eye that might harm it in any way. Whatever attempt they might make to break us apart…..we have to stay united and have to choose leaders who would really work for the country instead of enjoying dirty politics.
I salute the brave soldiers and officers who gave their life in order to protect the people, I salute the courageous men who risked their lives so that the safety of the hostages could be ensured, I pay my reverence to the innumerable people who lost their lives in this maniacal tussle…… a tussle between insanity and humanity.

Tick tock tick,
and there it goes,
another minute , an hour, a day and more.

Loneliness stays as it always has,
surrounded by a crowd, yet a void intact.

A new wait ,each day as it comes,
a new morning, yet the good old sun,
winters set in bringing in the familiar chill,
a bright blue sky , yet the black clouds within,

showered for a moment and drenched in another ,
dry as a leaf , or moist as lather ,
soaked in thoughts and moved by the wind ,
yet nothing seems to change , almost nothing,

And there passes the time one tick after another ,
taking life by its side ……
…….hand in hand towards a new world , a new wait ,a new order.

What is the world up to, suffereing, pain, war , gore. roth and ultimate pain is all I can see.Be it innocent kids , mature adults or the old people who cannot believe their eyes......what is it that got the roth to the precious wealth that has decorated this world ever since it was made , which though careless is conscious about the beauty of love ...which is well known as humanity. Have people lost the meaning of being humane .I for my part am a mere spectataor, who cannot do much since I am taken aback by the deterioration and havoc taking place in the small world I reside in . Its complete madness........insanity.Is it that easy to kill people , to make them suffer and then glorifying it in the spirit of revenge. When a simple human being dosent have the power to bear pain how can he give it to someone else. Humans were always scared of dangerous beasts which could harm them, they still are , the only diffference that I see now is that human beings have turned into beasts ...beasts of hatred towards one another. Whoever the sufferer might be , it is someone who is being hurt, that too a stranger you've never met, is this kind of violence justified at any cost?............I don't think so.I really don't.
Oh God let there be peace in the world ....................help us humans to become a bit more humane and save the love that ones resided in our hearts and has taken leave from it ...Aameen

don’t know why….

It’s a fight…….. between a lone self and an unknown world.

Sometimes there comes a phase in our life which is blank …as blank as it can be.. with not a single beam of light….complete darkness. A phase where our mind ceases to exist, where our heart pounds a thousand beats in a go, where our wishes run ahead of us without really knowing what is it that we really want, when reality ceases to be real . The world seems to buzz with activity , running as a back ground to our life which seems so still, that it looks as if it has frozen forever…the past seems to knock at our door, which we try to close with all our might… coz it was not the best of things that we really wanted or still want somewhere deep down…its total chaos …confusion…admiration and then rebellion…its one of those phases where life seems to exist just for the sake of existing…its that night sleepless as never before…its those eyes,
numb with apprehension , its that voice in a distance that constantly pulls towards it …its all in the mind …….which is fortunately or unfortunately ruled by the heart…and this indeed is the reason behind all the problems….coz it makes the ground unsteady ….the ground of life …..The measuring tape of sanity.

The play of words

Remonstrate /prostrate: two words with completely different meaning yet some where or the other both these words are used to describe a situation. Some people are comfortable with the latter while some come to terms with the former. Remonstrate means to protest or complain while prostrate means powerlessness to face down. All the human beings in this world have dealt with both the situations at some point of time in their lives, they might have remonstrated or prostrated.
When we are faced with something that has to be dealt with at every cost we tend to remonstrate, we raise our voice and fight against the injustice pelted on us. On the other hand when situations are such that we do not have any other choice but to give in, we prostrate, generally this feeling arises when we feel helpless and power less in front of the problems that we face, we decide not to go on any longer.Its human nature to experience such feelings in life, but one thing is clear it’s for us to decide what we want to choose. If we choose to remonstrate, we end up more satisfied because it is backed by the feeling of at least having tried to survive, whereas when we give up or prostrate we let ourselves down because that is when we loose all hope on ourselves.
Looking forward to a determined and positive life its necessary to quit the “p” word.

The decision to move on

Today I read an article on moving on, where the writer talks about the fact that it is always practicle to move on when someone dosent seem to care for you, however close the relationship might be .
Is it really that easy to move on......easy I think is just not the word that can be taken into consideration. When you are in a relationship, be it of any kind, you give your all to it , every relationship is nurtured with care, its like a seed that you grow , the seed symbolises the attempt to come forward and commit yourself to a relationship.
You see it grow with time , it takes all your care, love and dedication. One fine day the seed grows into a fully grown plant , symbolising a relationship that blossoms with love, then one day you realise that the plant begins to wither away. A relationship that ones formed the very epitome of your life stagnates with time .
Will it be easy to leave it to rot and plant another one or decide to be on your own for the rest of your life ?
Relationship is a bitter journey crossing the thick and thins of life , when the ride seems to get bumpy its always good to change the road , the only problem being that no one knows what waits at the end of the new road .... a new beginning or a dead end.

An unkept conscience............

Life a continuous struggle….a struggle within a self,
a self as lonesome as ever …..Struggling through the ups and downs,
a struggle that continues …..Ever lasting and ever disturbing.

Down the passage of the guilty shore, lays a conscience … unkept yet restored..there comes a wave and splashes through …the dreams the discords, the light, the hue,
then begins a journey ..on the never ending path ….with the reiterating steps of a conscious past ……but there lies as it always has ….a conscience ever ready to fight its past.

The varied mysteries of life

Life involves so much of planning, setting of goals and building castles in the dreams, least do we know what life has in store for us, but inspite of not knowing what’s coming up next…we plan, plan and plan. Recently I read a news extract that said that a young man died, the reason being that he took part in a pastry eating competition where the pasty that he ate in a hurry blocked his wind pipe and he chocked to death…its surprising how a happy and casual event took someone’s life...don’t think the young man had ever imagined that an occasion where he was having fun could be his last…but life plays its games..it always has ...its for us to decide if we want to brood over the past, be anxious about the future or decide, to enjoy each moment that comes our way…coz no one knows when the strings of life slip through our hands and get swallowed by the ever sharpened claws of death . Live life while you can ………….Responsibly…but without being nervous about what life has in store for us …..because no one has ever known, neither anyone ever can unfold the varied mysteries of life.

Warmth:)

The soft breeze that passes by,
the sun that shines in the sky,
the tiny drops of drooping dew ,
the ancient tree ,the sky so blue ,
the flower full of colour red,
the eyes so moist with love and care,
the warmth of the wrinkle laden hands,
unspoken words , a smile at hand ,

The age of careless innocence,
unselfish love and selfless friends ,
the lonely swing that touched the sky ,
the dancing rain , the butterflies,

the tattered boat in the self made stream,
the chocolates in the drowsy dreams ,
the curling up in the warmth of a lap,
the little doll , the big brown cat,

Oh how I ‘d love to go back to those day,
Of innocence of love of fondness of grace,
a small world a world of my own,
with tender love and sweet abode,

Today I stand in the midst of life,that has changed,
yet compels me to derive,
the beautiful memories of bygone days
that keep coming back in every other phase,
I caress and cherish them oft and on,
they feel so pure and full of warmth,
and whenever I am stuck with complexities,
The old fond memories curl up,……. right next to me.

A distorted puzzle

Is it true that life is biased , good for a few and bad for the rest or its just that we create our own situations in life , we take life for granted and then blame it for all the negitivity that is inculcated. Its like the difference between deserving and getting, what you deserve you might not get and what you get you may not deserve . Life is a jigsaw puzzle , we put the pieces in the wrong places and then blame the picture for being ugly and distorted .We need to learn the right meaning of life and the right path that can be taken..so that we just don't survive , but live our lives , a life which is less complex and more at ease with itself.

The search is on.........

Who am I but a handful of soil ready to grow desires,
Who am I but the bright blue sky reaching up higher and higher,
Who am I but a wish so strong trying to mould the world,
Who am I but the love that’s gone never to look back or return,
Who am I but the wide blue ocean gripped by the storms of time,
Who am I but selfless devotion, devoted to the power divine,
Who am I but the sand of time with a brand new tale of its own,
Who am I but an innocent wish............... lost in its own discord:)

Every individual is someone, someone who needs to be explored. Through the journey of life we have been given a task to find out who that someone is and what is the motive behind coming in this world. Each one of us has been sent with a motive, a motive that we spend the rest of our lives understanding, confused at what life has in store for us. The answer might be simple but is the toughest to discover, and the waiting……well that seems to be the longest. In this quest of the search for oneself, our desires and the choices made by us play an important role. One wrong choice and we loose the track and one right decision takes us way ahead. Life indeed is demanding and so are we .Its a tug of war between life and the indiviual…..and our desires can be our supporters or our enemies. Each one of us nurtures a desire……a desire to reach out to the unknown.

Dreams are a part and parcel of a our life .When we shut our eyes we don’t plan what’s gonna come next, but dreams tell us a new story, not every day, maybe only when our mind is completely shut off from the world around us, shut off completely and in unison with our soul .There is a big difference between dreams and real life .. a dream has its own well formed goals, while reality waits for the goals to be formed and then broken for convenience sake. I was just wondering, are dreams a signal for something that is about to happen, are dreams setting goals for us, most of us would indeed agree that dreams are our desires, fulfilled or unfulfilled, closed in the treasure box, reveling itself only when the curtains are drawn…curtains, our eyes , windows to explore the real world and the one formed through our dreams . My poem explores one such dream formed behind the closed curtains…….

I dreamt ones of a long road ,a road with a fence of love ,
Where flowers bloomed on both the sides and a wide blue sky above;

The long road that I dreamt of , was but a part of me ,
ready to move on and yet confused , as to where destiny would be.

The road was long, with ups and downs, I stumbled and slipped at places,
the desire to move was so strong, that the wound left with its traces.

I still dream of the long road in harmony with my soul,
There I stand at the centre, ready to take on as before.

But as I dream of the long road I note a change in me,
Looking at the sky above I smile, to the heavens, in glee.

Oh dear sky I always thought ,I would meet you by the end of the road,
I pity myself for being so vague, I think I never dreamt before,
Its someone I met who has shown me the way , the way to be one with you,
you were never too far, but its just that , my ambitions never grew ,

With new found wings I am leaving the road, to be one with the sky,
and I know one day I’ll move further up enhancing the ability to fly.

And then I would touch the roots and will make a connecting path,
well grounded on the road below while touching the beautiful sky above .

This very path would form a way for all the people like me,
who feel lost, on the road of life, while writing their destiny.

A simple zeal to live

No words at all, it’s a complete void. Sometimes our life goes in such a monotonous strain that we wonder if we even exist, are we making things happen or are they happening on their own. It goes on and on, each day passing by the way it wishes to. Where is the will to turn things and mould them as we like them to be.
Sometimes it feels great to just let go, let life take its own decisions, and what is left with us by the end of it is the bliss of living each day as it comes.
Coz life doesn’t need to be struggled with all the time , sometimes its just about contentment and a simple zeal to live:)

The familiar tie

Certain words leave such a lasting effect that we are amazed at their power, the power to mould the lines on our face and bend them into a downward curve. Lines that may just strike that familiar cord , the one we thought was lost with time , and who else can create such magic then the refreshing fragrance of good old friendship, fresh as flowers full of dew, that cast a spell of love with unshaken faith , sealed and strengthened through the tests of time.
“Today I caught myself smiling for no reason, then I realized I was thinking of you. The smile on my face is a reflection of our friendship. So don’t let it fade”, might just sound like a simple message to anyone, but one who receives it early in the morning as a reminder of the ever green, ever lasting tie, it makes a world of difference. True friendship is all about words, sometimes unspoken yet loud enough to leave a resounding effect forever. Friendship is all about time, that passes by, and each time it does, it leaves a lasting fragrance, that sprouts up and smears our memories oft and on. Friendship is all about being there, though not visible all the time, yet in the form of an invisible presence, the force that helps us to move on.Friendship is a feeling, a feeling of being complete, a feeling that gives us the courage to fight against all odds, a feeling that makes us realize that we are special, a feeling that comes from that one person, our friend , our buddy , the giver of a secure future and a happy today.

That crisp old morning

It’s that very morning, familiar yet new, crisp with a sprinkle of the sun and a light mesmerizing touch of the wind. It’s that very morning which I have known since long. Full of warmth and excitement, holding her hand tightly I used to skip a beat, “hurry up amma, nani must be waiting”! Those were the days when my mom used to drop me to our private crutch, my nani’s house. With a tiny tiffin box stuffed with Maggie, which went hard by the time I ate it ,coz I knew there were a lot many mouth watering treats in store for me, kept carefully aside by my nani , least someone would pounce on them. But what was more important was to reach my nanu and sit besides her…doing nothing…absolutely nothing. After some time “I” used to come out to play, being younger by a year and a half , he was my constant companion. The consequences of all our adventures together were shared equally, be it catching the butterflies or making holes in the good old chetak owned by mamu. Nanas ambassador was a treat for both of us, whoever took out the car, we used to be the first ones to occupy the rear seat , counting every house that came on our way. But whatever said or done, my nani was my world, my mother till 1:00 in the afternoon and my friend for life. When the clock struck one, and there was a thud at the door , I used to run across the lawn to receive amma. Making a naughty face it was a duty for my nani to make her favourite comment, “so now that her amma is here, S will forget her nani”, it had become a ritual with me to run back and hug her as soon as I heard the familiar lines ……the lines that I remember till date , the lines that take me back in her memories where I play with my friend , my companion , my mother….my nani. Your warmth can never be forgotten, your love has made me who I am today…..I wish I could bring you back from the heavens , but since I am not the pari you used to talk about in your stories, I can’t do anything about it. But wherever you are …you’ll be a part of me ………. a precious piece of my memories , which’ll forever be intact.

The unspoken

Relationships .What are they all about? What do they mean? Sometimes a stranger in disguise, and sometimes someone known yet never understood. What does time hold for such relationships .I haven’t known M for long. Yet I understand each word that is pronounced. I haven’t understood what it is to be happy yet so much in pain, yet I‘ve known this feeling since long. A used to tell me it’s for you; M says that it’s for her. Pain a story retold by life, there are certain cords through which it can be felt, even if we are not the ones who’re suffering it…it matters because it disturbs those we love.Relationships have a strange nature. You’re not even aware and a cord is struck, then a few words full of warmth, the blessed aura, the peace and the solace .You can’t choose your relationships in life, however aware you might be , you can’t choose words to categorise them , however well versed you are.I know there won’t be a verbal exchange, I’ll fall short of words if there ever is, each word that is exchanged, non verbally, has the power to say everything.Even silence has the power, it always did, I’ve known it for long , have known it from someone who’ll stay in my memories till my dying day.I am silent and yet my eyes go numb. Why is it you, who has to bear the brunt?But remember one thing my dearest soul mate …you’re a part of every prayer I recite each day.

The Breakthrough

Yesterday I saw a movie called Wednesday…….it highlights the plight of the common man and how even if a single person takes a step forward difference can be made.Each one of us struggles through life , sometimes the challenges are big, sometimes they are trivial enough to be left on time ……well that happens most of the time as we tend to mould ourselves according to the situations that arise. But what if all of a sudden we decide to call it quits , what if we decide to close ourselves in a cocoon , shut off from the outer world…but for how long can that happen ….. For how long can a social being stay alive surrounded by nothing but his shadow? That’s where determination creeps in, making inroads into our decision and shaking the very foundation of what we considered to be right .These are the times that we decide to step out and feel the air, be it hot or cold, regulating ourselves according to our surroundings ……….not a herd mentality, but just a struggle to exist , and its one of us who steps a bit further, venturing into the unknown, determined to set things right and bring the ultimate change ……the change that we have foreseen since ages, the change towards a reunion between peace and mankind.

For the one who has gone astray ...

" A son left with a promise to return,
lost in the haze of the world,
he lost his way........
ending up nowhere ,absolutely nowhere"...

The epitome of strength

Woman:an epitome of strength. No one can percieve how strong a woman can be.Be it a daughter, wife , mother or a lone indiviual.In every form she is a determined fighter, a fighter against all odds , a fighter againts every cruel question that life throws onto her point blank, a fighter determined to rectify all that goes wrong, a fighter with a history of struggle and an ever challenging present .I salute the power called woman since it might not show but she nurtures and spreads this very positive and determined attitude wherever she goes, bestowing each one she comes across with her healing touch.
"Don't give up woman coz you have the power, a power much more forceful than anything that leaves a scar, this power is the biggest strength for you and for me, to make our way towards our destiny."

??????????????

Life asks too many questions and one is totally left in a fix .Questions like, what will be the future? Who has gone insane we or the world? Are we completely responsible for what goes wrong with us? Can we find something that has been lost forever? Does time repeat itself? ……………………………………….There are so many questions, that if we sit down to answer them , we would land up in a full time job forever…………….a job to know the unknown…………………..the job to solve the most difficult puzzle …. A puzzle called life!

Being a child at heart...

There's a child within each one of us, honest to the core, but sometimes we grow too mature to realize the importance of being truthful:::truthfully innocent. What is honesty all about? Can it only be retained when we are far away from the fangs of adulthood, or can we also hold on to it while we grow up towards what we call a mature and responsible future. I am amazed at the fact, that how whenever there is a case of manipulation in the office , there are series of articles that are released through the internal site, especially the ones on integrity, honesty and many more words that have been giving a sane backbone to an ever changing society. But have we forgotten what it was to be truthful, have we learnt the act of turning a deaf ear to the helpless calls of our conscience. Have we forgotten the first phrase of honesty being the best policy, the very first one that we learnt when we were in kindergarten, the scolding that we got when we lied to our parents about our poor scores. Life teaches many lessons but somehow they seep through, without touching our soul, and the ones we imbibe are moulded as per the situations that arise. May be not always but they do get altered with time. It is the lack of stability that makes us face the negative situations in life ……..a firm belief in the positive, whatever the situation might be, gives one a stable future ….A few forgotten lessons make our life what we would never like it to be….a living façade…. Its time for some revision.

Mis....understanding….

Who creates misunderstandings? Are they created by us or is it that they just occur out of nowhere making our lives miserable. What ever the reason may be they sure do take a toll on our lives. For instance if all of a sudden a friend starts behaving rudely or a person whom we are familiar with turns a blind eye and acts as if we do not exist, it sure hurts . But can we let such misunderstandings disturb us so much that we consider each relationship a mistake. I really don’t think so. But what if we just leave It to that , I think if we just keep the situation hanging loose there will come a day when there will be no one to call our own, since everyone will be too angry to sort things out with the other. Whether one calls it a compromise or might give oneself credit for being the first one to take a step forward, the fact remains it’s always good to clear your doubt. Sometimes the issues are so trivial, that you’re amazed at their ability for having cased trouble. Life is a journey and a long one at that, it is full of uncertainties and while we travel we should make sure that the journey is smooth………..too many bumps makes one feel puckish.

Life

Life forces a lot of questions on you and most of the time you're unable to answer them, even when you do , you're scared of the circumstances. Are their any set rules to tag someone as bad or good...really don't know and even if there were, there are chances that we might have fallen for the wrong person, as sometimes we feel just too blinded by what we percieve as reality....reality that comes wrapped in gold and unfolds itself with time.......

A new beginning

Though a bit gittery, the journey has begun.... journey through the trodden yet unknown path of life. Since life unfolds at its own pace I am yet to discover what it has in store for me. Until then I choose to be blissfully ignorant.